Let’s finish the mom war

mommitment

The day I found out I was pregnant was the happiest day of my life.  My husband and I, just like so many other couples, struggled for several years to conceive a child.  So when I realized that I had a beautiful miracle growing inside of me I was overwhelmed with joy and emotion.  Since that day I have done my absolute best, every single day, to be a good mother to my baby.  And like many other women I was surprised by certain realities about pregnancy and motherhood that no one prepares you for.  But the most shocking reality that I was completely unprepared for was the “mom shaming” (also known as the “mommy wars”).  I was not expecting mothers to be so critical about other mothers, and it starts from the moment you are pregnant.  First it’s all about what you’re eating (or not eating), which vitamins are you taking, are you exercising, how will you decorate the nursery, and will you have the dreaded c-section.  So many women look down upon any mother who had a c-section assuming she “took the easy way out” (which if you’ve ever had one you know there is absolutely nothing easy about it) without even considering that she probably had medical circumstances that required it.  Then once the baby arrives it’s all about if you breastfeed, how do you breastfeed, don’t you dare feed them formula, what diapers do you use, what shampoo do you use, etc.  And this criticism just goes on and on as your precious baby grows through the different stages of life.

When did mom’s become so critical?

Here’s my message to all of those bully moms out there: give it a rest!  Don’t judge another mother for her choices.  You never know what is behind that choice, we all have different circumstances in life and that influences the decisions we make.  Most women who have c-section births do so because a natural one would be too dangerous to the baby and/or her.  Some moms don’t breastfeed because they’re on important life saving medication that they need to take but it would be harmful for the baby to ingest.  Some moms choose to feed their babies only organic foods, while others don’t see the need for it.  Some moms make all of their baby food while others prefer to purchase.  None of these decisions are bad ones, they’re all just different options and each mom must figure out what is best for her and her baby.  Lets stop the judgement.  After all, every mom out there is just trying to do the best she can for her family.  We all want our babies to grow into happy, healthy adults, and we’re all just doing the best that we can.  Every mom has moments of self-doubt, every mom is her own worst critic, the last thing any mom needs is to also deal with judgement from others.

So lets all make a commitment to celebrate and uplift all mom’s.  Lets support and build each other up.  Let’s all join the mommitment movement and do our best to be kind and to spread love to all mom’s.

mommitment

Como muchas parejas, mi esposo y yo luchamos durante varios años para poder conseguir un embarazo, y el día que nos enteramos que estábamos esperando a un angelito fue el día mas feliz de nuestros vidas.  Desde ese día he esforzado a darle todo lo mejor a mi bebe.  Y como muchas mujeres me sorprendí con ciertas realidades de un embarazo y de ser mamá que no esperaba.  Pero lo más preocupante de todo es la falta de apoyo que demuestran muchas madres hacia otras madres (conocido como la “la guerra de mamás”).  Muchas mujeres comienzan a criticar a otras desde el momento que están embarazadas, critican lo que comen, lo que hacen, si toman vitaminas, como decoraran el cuarto del bebé, si tendrán parto natural o cesárea, etc.  Hay muchas mujeres que dicen que una mujer que da a luz por medio de un cesárea es porque no quiere hacer el trabajo de un parto natural y solo busca una opción fácil (pues si creen que un cesárea es fácil entonces es obvio que nunca lo ha experimentado).   Después critican si amamantas, si lo están haciendo bien, si le das formula a tu bebé, que tipo de pañal usas, etc.  Nunca tiene fin, las criticas siguen con cada etapa de la vida de tu bebé.

¿En que momento tantas madres comenzaron a juzgar tanto?

A todas esas mamás les quiero pedir que ya dejen de criticar tanto.  No tienen derecho de juzgar cada decisión que toma una madre cuando ni conocen las circunstancia de su vida.  Muchas mujeres deben someterse a un parto por cesárea por razones médicas que impiden el parto natural.  Muchas mamás deben alimentar a sus bebés con formula ya que ellas deben tomar medicamentos y seria peligroso pasarlo al bebé.  Algunas madres deciden cocinar toda la comida que da a su bebé, otras deciden comprarla, alguna solo compran comida orgánica mientras que otras no ven la necesidad, algunas usan pañales desechable y otras optan por pañales de tela.  Ninguna de estas opciones son malas o equivocadas, simplemente son diferentes y cada madre debe decidir que es lo que mejor conviene para su familia.  Por favor, no juzguemos.  Todas queremos hacer lo mejor para nuestros hijos.  Todas nos esforzamos a diario para ser la mamá que nuestros hijos merecen.  Todas tenemos momentos en que dudamos nuestras decisiones, todas nos autocriticamos, no necesitamos también luchar contra las criticas de los demás.

Les pido a todas este compromiso; apoyo.  Debemos apoyarnos mutuamente, hagamos el compromiso para demostrar siempre amor y apoyo.

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2 thoughts on “Let’s finish the mom war

  1. Well said. I’m sure as kids get older it becomes laughable that we were ever concerned about or arguing about most of these things anyway – who’s standing at the school gates saying ‘that child obviously had non-organic bananas’ and ‘that one wasn’t sleeping through the night by 6 months’? No one – these things do not make as much difference as we are panicked into believing.

    Liked by 1 person

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