Yup, you read that title correctly, I’m proud to own my c-section scar.
Lately there has been a lot of push-back against c-section births. The big thing right now seems to be a movement to reduce the number of c-section births and empower women to not fold under the pressure of a doctor and to have a natural birth no matter what. I agree that no woman should be forced or pressured into an unnecessary surgery of any kind, and I agree that a c-section should not be performed unless it is medically necessary. What I do not agree with is this notion that a woman who gives birth via c-section has somehow opted for the “easy way out.”
It has happened to me, on a few occasions now, that a group of moms will be swapping birth stories and as soon as they hear that I did not have a natural child-birth some will completely tune me out at best, and at worse I get the eye roll with the “I would never have allowed that kind of unnecessary procedure” speech. Again with the mom shaming attitudes. Just because I had a c-section does not make me any less of a mother nor does it make my birthing experience any less beautiful. There is absolutely nothing easy about undergoing a c-section. It’s a surgery that takes a long time to recover from and you have to deal with that pain for several days. Not being able to walk properly, much less get up quickly, when you have a newborn baby crying out to you is not what I would consider “the easy way out.” I do not try to diminish the pain of labour and contractions, so don’t try to diminish the pain of my surgery.
When I went into the hospital the day of my son’s birth, I was just as nervous and anxious to meet him as any other mother is on that special day. When he was born I was overwhelmed with emotion, his first cry made me cry from the joy of his arrival. The way in which he entered this world does not take away from any of that.
The worst part of being judged is knowing that someone just automatically assumed that there was no medical reason for me to undergo a c-section, and yet they know nothing about my story, they didn’t even ask. I think it’s great to bring awareness to any issue, and I have no problem with anyone promoting what they believe in, but don’t make assumptions about other people or judge them for their choices.
So to anyone who wants to look down their nose at me for having a c-section I say I’m proud of my scar. I’m glad that I got to experience the miracle of pregnancy, to feel a human being growing inside of me, and to bring a happy, healthy baby boy into the world. My scar is there as a reminder of the pain and sacrifice that I was willing to endure so that I could experience the joy of motherhood. And please, stop telling any mother what her birth experience should have been like. You get a say over your delivery, not on anyone else’s.