The other day I got asked if our pregnancy was a planned one. Well let’s see, it took 3.5 years, a range of tests, being poked and prodded, pills, a surgery, more pills, and injections. So to say it was planned is a bit of an understatement.
My story with infertility is not an uncommon one, it’s actually much more common than any one of us would like it to be. We all just assume that when we’re ready to have kids it will be as easy as simply going off birth control. But the reality for many couples is that it’s a long and complicated road filled with disappointment, shock, tears, and many many prayers. But even though my story isn’t unique, it’s still somehow a topic that not many people want to discuss.
My husband and I were married for about a year when we decided to just leave it up to nature and see what happens. So I went to my gynecologist to have my yearly exam and make sure everything was good. And it was, supposedly. But then time just kept going by and nothing. Months and months passed, so we began to wonder if something was wrong. I went back to my doctor and she immediately began a series of tests, then she sent my husband for tests. Then there were more tests, and more tests. It seemed to be an endless cycle of test with no answers. My doctor was a highly recommended one and yet she didn’t seem to be making any progress in finding answers, so it became clear that we needed a second opinion. That’s when a bit of fate stepped in, my husband was offered a job in Puerto Rico, so we were moving.
If you’ve ever moved you know it can be a bit stressful so we took a break from the fertility thing and decided to just focus on the move. I won’t go into details about it but lets just say the move took a lot longer then expected, as in a couple of months longer. But once we got to Puerto Rico I started my search for the best doctor, and I found him. Within the first five minutes of meeting him I knew he’d be the one to help us achieve our dream, and he did. It took another 8 months or so of investigation, treatments, a surgery, and more treatments, but we got there. We were blessed with a beautiful little miracle, a baby boy.
It’s a strange thing when you first find out you’re pregnant after so long of trying to get there, it takes a while for it to sink in. When I got pregnant I took at least 5 of those home pregnancy tests and still wouldn’t believe the positive result I was seeing. It wasn’t until I went to the lab and got a blood test that I finally accepted that it was really happening, that I was really pregnant. I remember holding that envelope with my test results in my hand and I didn’t want to open it. I was afraid that it would say that all of the home pregnancy tests had been wrong. When I did open it and saw that I was indeed pregnant I just cried, happy tears of course. Then I sent a photo of it to my husband who was at work. That man has never called me back so fast when he’s working! haha. It was definitely a happy day.
I’m so grateful that my husband and I are a success story. We never gave up, we changed doctors (we would have even if we hadn’t moved), we kept going back, we did what we had to do so that we could achieve the dream of parenthood. It took several years but now we are so blessed to have our precious baby boy. Our prayers were answered.
I wanted to tell my story not so that I would be showered with sympathetic comments, I wanted to tell my story because it might help even just one person to know that they’re not alone in their struggle. I know what it’s like to be disappointed month after month, I know the frustration in not knowing why you can’t conceive, I know what it’s like to have your body feel like it’s been given over to medical experiments, and I know how lonely all of that can feel. When my husband and I were struggling we had each other, but it often felt like we were the only couple having trouble conceiving, and that can feel really lonely. I would never wish infertility on anyone, but there is a comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. So if telling my story can bring even just a slight bit of comfort to just one couple, then it’s worth telling.