When you’re going through something like infertility it can be quite difficult for people to relate to your struggle. Sometimes, in their failed effort to impart wisdom, people can say some incredibly ridiculous and insensitive things. Here are the top 10 worse comments I’ve ever heard. (some comments were made to me and others to people going through their own struggle). To read my original post about my struggle with infertility click here.
10. Have you been to see a doctor yet? Yeah Like it hadn’t occurred to me to do that??
9. Are you sure you should be drinking that coffee? I mean seriously? Are you just trying to kick me while I’m down?
8. Everything happens for a reason. What is that supposed to mean? That I deserve to go through this struggle?
7. If it’s meant to happen it will. So basically you think that I’m just supposed to sit back and accept a life with no children because nature is somehow telling me I’m not deserving of having a child?
6. Why don’t you just adopt? Adoption is a fantastic and blessed way to start a family, but who are you to tell someone to give up on their dream of carrying their own baby?
5. I wish I had that problem! I’m always worried about getting pregnant! This has to be just about the dumbest things I’ve heard. I mean seriously, are you looking to get punched in the face?
4. Wow I don’t know how you do it, if it were me I think I’d just fall into a deep depression. Ok, thanks for the encouraging words.
3. If you really want to get pregnant then shouldn’t you save your money for more treatments rather than spending it to go on vacation? How about you walk a mile in my shoes and then we’ll talk about how…oh wait, even then it’d still be NONE of our business!
2. Maybe if you had tried when you were younger it would have been easier. Are you a doctor? No! So shut it.
1. Stop thinking about it and you’ll get pregnant. This is by far the WORST thing I used to hear when we were trying to get pregnant. First of all, if it were that easy we would have gotten pregnant in our first year of trying. And second of all, telling a woman who is struggling to get pregnant to just stop thinking about it is like telling a baby that if they just stop thinking about it then they won’t be hungry anymore.
No one expects you to understand what it’s like to experience infertility, let alone have some magical words to make it all better. But please, just take a second to think a little bit about what you’re about to say before actually speaking. If you’re looking to be supportive, then just be a friend, no one expects you to know the perfect thing to say.
Know of any other remarkable comments that should be added to the list? Tell me and I’ll update it! (with a link-back to your page of course) 🙂