Just wait. Two relatively innocent words that are starting to become two of the most annoying words to hear. No matter what stage of life I’m in there is always someone telling me to just wait.
Just wait until you have to plan a wedding.
Just wait until you’re pregnant.
Just wait until you have a child.
Just wait until he’s older.
Just wait until you have another baby.
What is the constant obsession with telling people to just wait until they experience what you have already gone through? Every time someone tells me to just wait it makes me feel like they’re telling me that my experience is somehow inferior because I haven’t gone through as much as they have. My life is unique to me, and things will happen in the time they’re meant to happen. There is no way to know what the future will bring, so who’s to say I’m going to experience the same things as anyone else?
Most recently the just wait I keep hearing is just wait until you have two kids. First of all, who said I’m going to have another baby? Secondly, just because I “only” (ugh even writing that makes me cringe) have one child doesn’t mean that my stress or hectic days are any less valid than anyone who has multiple children. Sometimes it seems like if I’m around other mothers who have 2 or more kids, I’m not allowed to say anything about being tired because the response is always “oh just wait until you have another baby, you have no idea.” It’s like there is always someone trying to one up me, trying to prove that they’re somehow more talented than I am because they have more to deal with. Why is it even a competition? Why can’t we simply share our experiences with one another without trying to make comparisons? What’s beautiful about friendship is that you can share about your life, unload your stresses, and support each other. But if you’re too busy trying to prove that you’re somehow better than doesn’t that undermine the friendship?
Please stop telling me to “just wait.” My feelings, whatever situation I’m dealing with, is no less valid just because you have already been through it or because you think your life is somehow more complicated than mine. If you have well-earned advice that you can offer then that’s great, and it’s certainly much more useful than telling me to wait.
Let’s all make a commitment to stop telling people to just wait. Perhaps a better approach would be to say “I understand.” Let’s try our best to be there to support one another, and stop trying to one up each other.